Coaxial Cable Upgrade: Signal Roulette

Warning: Upgrades may cause spontaneous combustion, spontaneous happiness, or spontaneous combustion.

Are you tired of boring cable internet? Do you yearn for a more exciting, unpredictable experience? Look no further than Coaxial Cable Upgrade: Signal Roulette! Our patented technology randomly changes your internet signal strength and type every few minutes, ensuring you never know what you're getting.